Damn son, I never thought this day would come in a million years. I really thought I was the next Old Geezer (some of you know him, many of you don't) in the making, but I guess the tides have changed. I played quake for nine (yes, it's a coincidence) straight years and I wouldn't even dare to add up all the time I spent playing this game -- it would only leave me depressed or angered. What haunts me the most is that I think about all that time I spent on here could of went to something more productive, such as, my studies, learning how to play the piano (which I really want to do), exercising, learning something new, etc..This is the main reason why I have to stop playing video games in general, not just quake.

I play video games and sports because I'm a very competitive person -- you would know exactly what I mean if you met me in person. Sometimes I challenge people to see who can eat their dinner the fastest ffs. But...I played quake for other reasons as well. Quake took care of my ADD problems and it also took care of my stress in life. Two years ago, my mother was fighting breast cancer for the 3rd time in her life. Unfortunately, she wasn't lucky this time, the cancer had spread into her nervous system and caused her a very painful death. At the age of 21, I didn't know if I could handle this at all. Initially, I was looking at my mother's medications (morphine, codeine, hydrocodone) as an escape. But luckily, as corny as it sounds, quake saved me from that terrible path. When I was going completely nuts thinking about my mother's death, I would hop on the computer and start playing quake. This game didn't allow me to think, it consumed all my concentration. You might ask, how did you play a video game after one of your parents dying? The answer to that question is that everyone has their own escape. And who knows where I would be now if I decided to take those meds! However, almost 3 years have passed by and I'm a completely different person now. I don't need drugs or games to bypass my stress anymore. I'm at a stage of my life where I believe things happen for a reason.

Enough of the serious shit, I would like to share some embarrassing moments in my life that I completely blame on quake (aka the addiction) lol

-Many summers ago, I joined my first clan in the Q3 demo. I had a vacation coming up that following week down to the beach, but I chose to stay home so I could compete in my very first matches. I never told that to any of my friends lol

-I lied to my past girlfriends I couldn't hang out with them because I felt sick, I was grounded, my car didn't work, etc....just so I could stay home and play more quake. Yes, I know it's sad, you don't have to tell me.

-This is when my "car didn't work" excuse went wrong...On this particular day, I discovered the Q3 Team Arena demo. I played that demo online for 7 straight hours as soon as I installed it. In between all that gaming I got caught in one of my lies. I made plans to see my g/f at that time, but that completely changed when I discovered the demo. I didn't want to sound like a nerd by saying, "Sorry we can't hang out because I want to play quake"..so I stepped outside my house next to my road and called her saying "Sorry ash, I was on my way to your house but I got a flat tire blah blah blah blah". It was a success, she believed me...Until my nosy sister screamed out the window wondering what I was doing out there on the phone. Unfortunately, my g/f heard her and I confessed. Several days later we broke up.

-I skipped countless days in high school to play quake while mommy and daddy were off at work lol

-Called off of work many of times just to stay home and play quake.

-There were days (in high school) where I would seriously wake up at 8AM, eat a quick breakfast, played quake to midnight, eat a snack before going to bed, then doing it all over again the next day. The only times where I took my eyes off the screen is when I had to go to the bathroom...and yes, I didn't take showers. It was a wake up call to my family when they asked me, "Why are you so pale?"

-I got into serious fights with my ex-g/f's why I give this game so much more time than them lol

As you can see, the climax of my addiction was in high school, but I still played quake alot in college. There are other moments I could share, but I'm not trying to make this goodbye thread a book. I'll look back on these memories and chuckle to myself just to think how young and foolish I really was lol

I would like thank everybody I played for the wonderful and competitive games we had. I would also like to give thanks to the clans that took me aboard and made me a part of their family, ANK and BE I thank you for this. It's been a long journey, but there isn't a better place to stop than here. E+ mod is the best mod I played in my whole quake career, I tip my hat to all of the people that are responsible for this (good luck with the new release).

Like I said, I want to be productive with my time from now on rather than wasting it on video games. Good luck to all and god bless!

Sincerely,

NiNe