whats up people hows tings goin?

its the xmas parties period i had ma mate come back last saturday, we went for a lil cruise and then i made 3 joints at home on ma own and got a little fucked up. I know how to roll jionts an roll ups now innit. Also changed my cig of choice from Superkings (bleurgh) to Mayfairs...

Sunday i was lying on tha bed chilling and dont remember much more. Think i played some q3 but cant tell for sure lol.

Monday i bought a 6-pack of beer and only drank 2 cans while speaking to someone on msn till 1 in ze morning :oops: Feels great not having to not go to bed at 4am after stressed out arguments over an internet with sum1 who i realised was actually quite stupid and not even worth it . Also had fun laughing about "quake people" with sum1 actually from zis game. PLease not madbringer, it does not mean "everybody in e+" but a certain type of slightly weird people who take it too seriously lol.

Tuesday i went 2 watch tha liverpool game, at my mates local in Croydon (thorton heath actually) its a proper eastenders-style pub... i already got people i know there lol Cos i ate a sandwich @ 10am, i was a lil mashed after only 7 pints. Had KFC on the way back... it was after midnite so it was very nice for my mate to offer to gimme a lif all the way to bexley lol. in the car he gave to his ex (peugot 206)... ex had to come to the pub, she was asleep in the car . Respect for just missing ot on a night of drinking to give a friend a lift.

Wednesday - the 1st out of 3 xmas do's for my company! Started off as a fukin shit nite. mate nearly got into a fight with a bar manager an security guard cos of manager being a real dickhead. At the end of the day dude jus pushed manager away after "shaking" his hand. manager calls security on radio saying theres a situation, my mate jus walks off (quickly but not rushing if you get me lol) manager runs after him and calls security... im followin them cos obviously ima jump in for him if blablabla. Anyhoo, we get to the doors of the bar, dude walks out, me walks out, manager shouts to dude "youre barred"... we leave 3 friends in the bar, dickhead manager asks them to leave apparently when we left. 2b continued lol

Then we went to the actual restaurant where our departamental xmas party was going on... i copped me the fucking sexiest ever half-pint glass (Peroni)... actually its on a par with my Krouenbourg1664 half-pinter... both are
that was shit lol. for my secret santa i got a stoopid calculater, notepad and a little beemer M5 replica car tingy. At least i can play with it at work now (cos gave present to another friend who just went home lol) an he brought it at work. Now i annoy this girl at work with the car lol

Anyways, it was shit so we bounced at half 8 to make it to Wii night at mate's local pub... but we had to go Lloyds 1st to meet sum people he knew. Stayed for a drink. Went to the bus stop to go to his pub. Missed Wii night (they rubbed our names off the board)... jus played pool and he was like "you jus wanna crash at mine?" to which i repied yes (2-hour trek home, so fuck that)... then he was like "should we get sum green or charlie?" i opted for charlie cos i never tried before lol. Then we spent some more time at tha pub. In the end they jus shut the doors and did a mini lock-in. Landlady's boyfriend taught me some self-defence shit cos he has 26 years experience as a doorman. still cant move my thumb .
Btw the past few weeks been asking people i been having random conversations with "try to guess my age"

If i remember correctly, 25, 25, 23, 25, 20, 24, 28 (:!, 21. Must be the conversation i bring in. AND MY BIG BOI COAT!!!!!!!!!!!! () (sarcasm!)

Then we eventually went to his house and started doing lines. I was extra careful, but at the end of the day, didnt even get what tha hype was truly about. Probably cos i was already fuked up At tha end of tha day we jus listened to some music and talked lol. If tony montana was real and reincarnated, it would be this dude. And his 1st name is tony too lol.

Went to bed at 5am
Had to be up at 8:30... 2 phone alarms... im the one awake lol... woke up... and i got a loogey (hope its a corrected spelling)... and i could taste the sniff particles in it, innit.

Went to work in our office. Both sober yet hungover I didnt even look knackered according to the girl whose office i took over in these past few weeks. I did have gel in my hair from last nite and wore tha same fukin clothes 2 days... without taking them off. Got piss taken out of hardcore by this other girl (fun is, i gave as good as i got tho:P) for tha same workshirt, plus a sexy spot appeared on my lower lip. And that whole "hehehe u fancy x, we all know, :P". Our part of tha DCC department is 8 people who are all 21-26 year olds (me not included, me still 19), but its fun cos it feels like school all over again sometimes. Funny . During a long-ass "you suck"- "no you suck more" "yea but you suck physically" - (ian joins in) "yea she could suck a basketball thru a tennis racket" - *whip cracks* . I was still the most victimised today tho, with uncalled for "KKKuzhakhmetov (girl's initials are KK) which is annoying cos i call her the Band Camp KKK princess as well

Band Camp is cos her family have a tradition of Scouts. Me and tony turned this into the infamous "Like this one time, at band camp" line from American Pie.

KKK cos she got a degree and she wants to and is about to join the police force. I take the piss cos the police are prejudiced against ethnic minorities. This evolved into Band Camp being a hideout for a KKK-style organisation which utulises Chinese underage illegal immigrants for heroin labs and heroin smuggling over weeks. Dont ask :roll:

princess cos she blonde and very pretty :oops:

Weird ting is, i aint tha one who started calling her that (tony lol), she knows the song Dope - Die Motherfucker Die , an her mate Georgina (evil 15 quid an hour - her 1st job thru connections - underqualified - ginger biatch - still im underqualified, got MY job thru connections, according to Katie, im ginger too D:) wrote her an email which started off with "heya missy" tha other day. Point one is jus a coincedence cos tony is a player (he even got some action at last nites christmas do ). Part 3 is not even a coincedence ( the amount of times i call my friends Young Blood, motherfucker, gangstaAAAAAAA, et cetera (a white girl version of those under a similar context would be "missy" or "babe" i believe)... Just to make sure btw, i dont check on anyone's emails, its just ive practically moved into her office cos of boredom and lack of work, so if anything happens, its already deemed interesting My only GRRRRRRRRRR is cos when you finally meet someone smart, not half the world away, pretty, with so much morals and shit, they're already taken, and have a long-term boyfriend of like 3 years and the "morals" bit means it stays that way as well

Anyhoo, after i got home today, i had KFC, shower (took off the same Ben Sherman shirt i been wearing 2 days straight lol)... had a shower and groomed () and slowly drank 2 beers while writing this ting.

2moro is 2nd work xmas do, this time its just us DCC people goin curry house. Cue 4 male dickheads passing around Phaal and chomping it down while holding back the tears in their eyes and burps which can set an oil tanker on fire and saying "yeyeye its nice". And the girls laughing at us. Oh and processing CPF-PID's system 40 should come in 2moro at work. After curry house ima prolly go home, tink "lifes a bitch and then u die, so fuk it all an lets get high", smoke my last joint which i can roll, and i guess thats it concerning me, drugs and 2008 cos i had enough fun just concentrate on being myself for now

Saturday im going clubbing with ma 2 best friends who bak from bolton an bournemouth. Sunday im going shooping for a silver bracelet and new trainers. Then i will cry in memory of my paycheck.

Add-On 1:
99% of my racism in my office space comes from me... Ironically, against russians and white people. Ironically cos im white and russian.
the other 1% comes from katie, ironically against russians and people from kazakhstan. Ironically cos only when we're talking or sum1 else comes in and she takes the piss. Ages ago, me and tony were the ones taking the piss. We've taught her well

Add-On 2:
My dad's still a dickhead. I barely seen him at all this week (monday came home at 9, tuesday at 00:30, wednsday not at all, today as early as fucking humaely possible, and he still crazy

Add-On 3:
The day i realised i was happy was tuesday morning. I spent all the nite before not caring bout anything, just talking to connie bout things. I honestly had fun for ze 1st time without aggro. Plus she helped me put a lot of things into perspective and i just had so much fun talking to her .

Then next morning i was like "wow i really should be bothered about this mis@cumguzzling tag thingy", put on my headphones left the house, lit up a cigarette and walked to the trainstation. Rain Fell Down by The Rolling Stones was playing. I was like "wow, i finally feel nothing for her.

...

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sweet :o"

Cue jokes to myself on the train bout this (jokes not safe for e+, too much so-called "quake people" here )... i honestly tried giving a crap, but i guess i just couldnt. Or was it i hnoestly tried not giving a crap and just doing stuff to enjoy myself instead of doing this trials & tribulations thing and just mindfucking myself and sum1 else. Hooray for maturity!!!
And when i got to work, i was like "Hey Blondie, check me out, im finally happy today..."... and "check X out" is an important phrase... like "check me out in my new big boi coat and darker hair" or "check you out with your psychology degree from Cardiff university"

And yea it was noticable i was depressed for weeks before that. And yea i asked for help putting shit into perspective.

Add-On 4:

At the time being i just want to have fun. To enjoy myself. I would rather inject a syringe-full of aids-infected blood into my eyeballs than fall in love over the net. Especialy thru e+.