Kapitan obvious

hello to all sf members,

as a former member, co-leader and leader i would like to say some words after i saw the topic which stanley wrote. i loved sexyfraggers clan since i started to play quake on 1.30 at nastyhotshots and jobbers servers. it was the clan i admired from the start and which made my days and nights in that period of my life filled with laugh, fun and happiness. thanks to fabio and ilian i got into SF clan. i loved how we played until morning on jobbers 1v1 or teamdeath match on our good old iu1.2beta3.cfg. those days were filled with so much fun and i'll never forget it. i always looked forward to play even though we didnt have any cws or fws on 1.30. it were the good times. for those who were in e+ sf members i would like to say also thanks for supporting me and for trying to get SF name on higher list on e+ point list. when i went to e+ after some time i forgot what SF truelly is and was. It was a family and we cared for each other. it was a clan with members who could talk to each other without me pushing them, it was a clan where people enjoyed to play with each other, it was a clan were people inside the clan were friends. when i started to be a co-leader the clan went in wrong direction. i personally could fix this when i got to be a leader but being a girl and being the way i was as a person i didnt know how to make the clan to be how it was before or even better. i didnt teach you guys the good way and for this i am sorry. i wasnt meant to be the leader. i tried in my own way that i believed was the best way for everybody to make the clan be. i am sorry i treated you guys as my dogs. it is the truth because i setted rules and you had to follow them. i wasnt even aware i was like that until mostly fabio and partly andy opened my eyes. i though being a leader means to be like that how i was and to push people to do and go in cws which at the end made the clan sad and empty and it was at dying point because even if we won at the end we just all went our ways seperated instead of play some other games together. i dont even wanna mention how it was in clan when we lost. i putted as a main goal that sf should win a clan war and when we lost the clan war was like falling apart. my hunger for the win and to be better even made me go in bad direction and to use those soundhacks for myself which later on i regreated. before soundhacks i was proud that at least in game i never cheated and i was proud when i won a game without using some help or manipulating my way to get win. things changed a lot for me and i learned my lessons in many ways but still i can't say that i would be now a good leader to lead sf and to restore its family glory that it had when i entered in sf at year 2010. for me being a good leader means to be the person who can lead himself good. i am at the very beginning of it and have a lot to learn still. even though its just a game and its just a clan in a game over internet for me Sexyfraggers were a part of my life. the clan and moments with the clan brought me back in the old days of my life when i was 14-15 in middle school with the best class ever i could get. so for me this was also SF. it was the best clan ever for me. i wouldnt dare to join any clan except SF because SF is my home and in SF i found a family, friendship, laugh, happiness, lot of fun and my love. i am very sad to see its end written on e+ even though i knew when i left the clan the clan will die with me. i was the only string keeping it together.

i hope one day SF will be alive and it will be reborn as a clan with friends inside the clan, with trust, with no cheaters (as i was), with no backstabbers, with no ghosts and disappearing members without word, with honesty, with love, with the will to help each other, with the strenght to hold together during each difficulties and to get out of it wiser and more ready and stronger and the last but not the least with lot and lot of fun because that's why we are here at the end. To have fun with each other in something that we all love which is quake 3 arena.To spend time together even though we live on the other sides of europe or world and to accept each others differences because at the end we are different in our own way of living and own cultures from the countries were we were born and to learn something even new from each other during the times we spent together.

I believe this is not the end. There is never an end if there is still a spark that shines even though that spark in such moments as now is small and is dying. In me the spark will always live because i believe in SF and i believe it can be reborn. every obstacle is possible to cross if you fight and if you dont give up specially if we all work together as we should have from the start.

My SF's remember that we are a team, a clan, a family and for me that will never change even though we are so much different from each other. it was a wonderful time to be with you for these 3 years. it brought me many happy moments and memories and with you i was laughing from heart.

I wish to all who were in SF good luck in real life and to see you all soon in arena.

Maja