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Just For Jokes
20. January 2012 - 16:21
#32
Re: Just For Jokes
Calendar:
December 21, 2012. Came the end of the world.
December 21, 2013. Boyko deliver a speech on the anniversary of the end of the world.
21. January 2012 - 9:50
#33
Re: Just For Jokes
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.
We do not stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
Never Be The First To Get Old!! 
I am not responsible for what you think or say, just for what I say!
I never howl with the wolves, don't speak another to hear.
I have my own opinion & I insist.
Those who do not get along have only themselves to blame.
.................
..................
21. January 2012 - 9:52
#34
Re: Just For Jokes
A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an
Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the
Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to
have a drink.
"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."
The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.
"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
We do not stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
Never Be The First To Get Old!!
I am not responsible for what you think or say, just for what I say!
I never howl with the wolves, don't speak another to hear.
I have my own opinion & I insist.
Those who do not get along have only themselves to blame.
...................................
21. January 2012 - 10:17
#35
Re: Just For Jokes
A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
We do not stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
Never Be The First To Get Old!!
I am not responsible for what you think or say, just for what I say!
I never howl with the wolves, don't speak another to hear.
I have my own opinion & I insist.
Those who do not get along have only themselves to blame.
...................................
21. January 2012 - 11:24
#36
Re: Just For Jokes
Milena, this 1 is for u 
The First 3 Years of Marriage
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
- In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
We do not stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
Never Be The First To Get Old!!
I am not responsible for what you think or say, just for what I say!
I never howl with the wolves, don't speak another to hear.
I have my own opinion & I insist.
Those who do not get along have only themselves to blame.
...................................
21. January 2012 - 15:59
#37
Re: Just For Jokes
wrote:Milena, this 1 is for u
The First 3 Years of Marriage
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
- In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Man , i have to say its Life Joke ... Honestly thas working Marriage 
21. January 2012 - 16:14
#38
Re: Just For Jokes
wrote:Milena, this 1 is for uThe First 3 Years of Marriage
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
- In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Man , i have to say its Life Joke ... Honestly thas working Marriage
wrote:Man , i have to say its Life Joke ... Honestly thas working Marriage
man, I am married for 20 years and I know what I'm talking about 
howsoever, that was a JOKE man
We do not stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
Never Be The First To Get Old!!
I am not responsible for what you think or say, just for what I say!
I never howl with the wolves, don't speak another to hear.
I have my own opinion & I insist.
Those who do not get along have only themselves to blame.
...................................
21. January 2012 - 16:18
#39
Re: Just For Jokes
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
A woman got on a bus, holding a baby.
The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an
aisle
seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her
what
was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't
say
things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him
a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
We do not stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
Never Be The First To Get Old!!
I am not responsible for what you think or say, just for what I say!
I never howl with the wolves, don't speak another to hear.
I have my own opinion & I insist.
Those who do not get along have only themselves to blame.
...................................
21. January 2012 - 16:18
#40
Re: Just For Jokes
In some company was held a competition for secretary.
Goes great chick - breasts, legs, face - all as a top model.
Chief questioned her:
- Do you know any foreign languages?
- Yes, English, German and French.
Good, do you have experience with computers?
- Sure, Windows, Linux, naturally Office, and a little programming in C++.
- Great! And do you type fast?
- Up to 200 characters per minute.
- Wonderful! And what salary you want?
- 10 thousand dollars.
- 10,000? In this company, even chief engineer does not receive so much!
- Then f*ck your chief engineer.....
Shout 12:48:53
: Steff, traitor. That’s a valid message
: Enter a valid Message
: Me, lol
: hello!
: I hope you had a good reason to be absent. Get well soon, my friend.
: Impressive
: I am half Russian and half black. I'm black on the bottom half. Don't forget to lubricate your ass
: ok, bring it on analbolic hohol
: Come tomorrow to watch my battle with ShadyХУЙ at SexyFraggers 8 on central european, 22:00 Moscow time. He said he would win because he was a deft monkey. ХУЙ don't forget to put on makeup, I'll record us on video. You must be beautiful.
: broheim it is oke!!! I saw Moldova elections on the news, and referendum before that. HOPE life will get better (but nothing ever changes)
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A married couple at the Zoo walks past a gorilla enclosure.
Says the woman: 'Mark, do you know that gorillas are the only animals which resemble men in their behavior?
Look, seeing that no one is looking, I'll expose one of my breasts to it and see how horny it gets just as men do.'
Mary then exposes one of her breasts, and, sure enough the gorilla begins to get a hard-on and grabs the bars of the enclosure as if it wanted to break free.
'See,' says the woman, 'Now, I know why you react the way you do; men can't control their animal instincts just like gorillas can't.'
Says Mark: 'Now expose both breasts and let us see what happens.'
The woman exposes both breasts to the gorilla and it gets very excited and is now desperately trying to escape from the enclosure.
Says Mark: 'This is incredible, now, pull your skirt up, turn around and expose your bum to it and let us see what happens!'
The woman pulls her skirt up, turns around with her bum to the gorilla, which by now, was extremely aroused, breaks free from the enclosure, grabs the woman and starts yanking the clothes off her.
The woman yells: 'Mark , what do I do now? Please, help me!'
Mark replies: 'Now, give it one of the excuses that you usually give me:
That you don't feel like it
That you have a headache
That you're tired
That your throat is aching
That it is still too early
That I must understand you as a woman
That you are depressed
That you are in one of those days
That you are having a very busy week
That all you need is just to cuddle up
That you're tensed up
That you have to wake up very early tomorrow
That you woke up very early today
That you walked for long and your feet are aching
That caresses and hugs is all that you want today
That you're so tensed up that all you want is a good massage to make you relax
That you feel like watching TV
That you don't wanna miss the soapies
That you're from the Hair salon and therefore you can't move and spoil your hair
Go on, explain all that to the Gorilla and if it understands, if you can persuade it, then I’ll accept that Gorillas and men are same and I promise you that from today on I'll accept your excuses!'
We do not stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
Never Be The First To Get Old!!
I am not responsible for what you think or say, just for what I say!
I never howl with the wolves, don't speak another to hear.
I have my own opinion & I insist.
Those who do not get along have only themselves to blame.
.................
..................